Sandalista Speaks

Vatican rejects Williamson's apology

2009-02-27T18:08:00.004Z

The Vatican has rejected Richard Williamson's apology for questioning the truth of the Holocaust.

Williamson – a 'bishop' within the Society of St Pius X – apologised on Thursday for remarks in which he denied the scale of the Nazis' genocidal campaign against the Jews. He said his views had been "formed 20 years ago on the basis of evidence then available, and rarely expressed in public since."

He added: "To all souls that took honest scandal from what I said, before God I apologise."

However, according to a report by The Guardian's John Hooper, Vatican spokesman, Fr Federico Lombardi, said that Williamson's statement "does not seem to respect the conditions" for his readmission to the church.

Earlier this month, the Vatican said Williamson would only be allowed to serve as a clergyman if he recanted his views "in an absolutely unequivocal and public way".

Ermine accessories?

2009-02-27T17:51:00.006Z

Cardinal Cormac Murphy-O-Connor could be the first Catholic bishop since the Reformation to take a seat in the House of Lords, according to the delicious Ruth Gledill of The Times.

It appears His Eminence could be offered a Life Peerage – unlike his Anglican brethren who sit in the upper chamber as Lords Spiritual because of their place in the established church.

Cormac said last year that public life should not be "God free zone" and called on Christians to prevent the country from becoming a "world devoid of religious faith".

He also blamed Christians for the growth if atheism.

He said: "We need to examine what we might have done to give people a misleading idea of God. Faith in Britain might be improved by a deeper grasp of the mystery of God on the part of our believers."

WIlliamson and the Holocaust

2009-02-25T18:25:00.006Z

I'm worried. I agree with the Dame's latest rant. But few vaguely normal people wouldn't.

Today's post is a diatribe against the Holocaust-denying Richard Williamson (right) and his return to Britain following expulsion from Argentina.

What is amazing is what follows from some of the Dame's acolytes – or "Holy Smokers", as he calls them.

These are some of the milder comments:

The so-called holocaust really is a con job

If you're collecting names of people in the "fan club" of this saintly bishop, please add mine to your list.

I deplore the fact that many so-called democratic states have laws that criminalize an examination and understanding of the Holocaust.

Damian Thompson should have more respect for a Bishop of the Catholic Church (NOT Excommunicated = MEMBER of!) and successor of the Apostles!

The nasty holocaust industry is a bubble which needs to be pricked and we should be grateful for the bishop's special attention. If nothing else time will relieve the world of another Jewish con game.

And, interestingly:

Do you really think those twin towers collapsed so neatly just by being hit by aeroplanes?

Anybody who still thinks 9/11 was carried out by a bunch of mickey mouse muslims should be interned.

A rose by another other Dame...

2009-02-21T00:09:00.004Z

The Dame has now launched an appeal to buy new rose vestments for Fr Tim Finigan following The Tablet's recent "defamatory" comments about the Blackfen priest.

Apparently, poor Fr F hasn't a maniple to bless himself with and so the Dame has launched an appeal – bank account number and sort code given – on the Telegraph website to buy him a new outfit.

Rose vestments – modelled (right) for St Bede's Studio – are worn on two Sundays a year: the third of Advent and the fourth of Lent.

I must admit, if I was the Telegraph's proprietor I'd be worried about such a plug: still, I'm sure they'll get the cash back through appeals to help the many bishops rubbished by the Catholic Herald.

Respect for Bible offends the Dame

2009-02-18T13:28:00.006Z

Librarians have shown a rare sensitivity to believers by placing sacred texts on top shelves as a sign of reverence.

The move came following a request from the Muslim community that the Koran should be placed above mundane earthly things. And the goverment-funded Museums, Libraries and Archives Council agreed but added that, in the intersts of equality, all holy books should be placed on the top shelf.

It's rather wonderful that librarians – who deal with so many thousands of books – should show respect for that which we hold dear.

Guess who doesn't? Yes, Dame Thompson's gone off on one: "The jobsworth mentality that we associated with library fines is now being applied to everything multi-culti, with gruesome results.

"I think I'll pay a special visit to my local (super-PC) library this afternoon and have a look at the 'holy books'. And then maybe do a little rearranging of my own."

I'm intrigued to know when showing respect for the Holy Bible became PC.

LMS put foot in it

2009-02-16T22:31:00.008Z

The Latin Mass Society has played a blinder, according to Dame Thompson, for inviting Archbishop Raymond Burke (right), an American archbishop to celebrate the Gregorian rite at Westminster without asking permission of Cardinal Cormac Murphy-O'Connor.

According to the Dame this is all about the Cardinal sabotaging the traditional liturgy. Of course, it's really to do with etiquette. If I was Cormac (or any other bishop) I'd be livid if any organisation within the Church invited a prelate from another territory to celebrate Mass in the mother church of the diocese without clearing it first.

Thompson reports that the LMS has had to "go through the humiliating business of contacting Archbishop Burke in Rome" to withdraw the invitation. Very much a case of mea maxima culpa.

It's nothing to do with which rite one prefers: This is simply a case of bad manners.

Who will be the new Cardinal?

2009-01-04T21:34:00.007Z

Forget Westminster. The eyes of the world are currently on a more internationally-recognised ecclesiastical appointment.

Colleen McCullough's 1977 novel, The Thorn Birds, is being adapted into a stage musical.

Producers have already cast Helen Anker in the role of Meggie Cleary but are still looking for her love interest, Fr (later Cardinal) Ralph de Bricassart.

Bricassart was played by Richard Chamberlain (above) in the 1980s American mini-series.

So, we need someone who can sing and who is as comfortable in episcopal robes as he would be in clerical black. And I can't help feeling we have one or two bishops who would fit the bill.

Priest clears pews at Preston

2009-01-03T20:38:00.002Z

More hi-jinks in Liverpool, surrounding Thompsonist priest Simon Henry.

Simon has upset parishioners in his new posting – St Catherine Labouré, Farington, near Preston – by banning communion under both kinds and the sign of peace.

The Tablet reports that complaints have been received by Archbishop Patrick Kelly and Bishop Vincent Malone.

This week Simon admitted that “one or two people were a bit irate” because “they were used to a less formal liturgy and I am a more formal person.”

He confirmed that, while Mass in the ordinary form would continue, he hoped to add a Mass in the extraordinary form.

Simon arrived at St Catherine’s three months ago after plans for him to run a Tridentine Mass centre at St Vincent’s, Liverpool, fell through last summer.

Priest and tonic

2008-11-11T11:00:00.008Z

On an earlier topic, Cathy accused me of being a "G&T/Calendario Romano-loving effeminate (and possibly homosexual)" with "a humourless chip" on my shoulder. All of which is disgraceful as I'd much rather have a scotch and ginger. However, thanks, Cathy, for reminding us that this is the time of year when the new Calendario Romano goes on sale. Of course, accusations continue that these guys are not really priests but models. But those of us who are humourless really don't care.

Vatican document comes over all queer

2008-11-01T10:18:00.010Z

Did you know that homosexuals are different from heterosexuals?

I’m not talking about the way that they relate to people of their own gender but the fact that they have more problems keeping their trousers zipped up. It’s true! Honest! The Vatican says so.

It has therefore issued Guidelines for the Use of Psychology in the Admission and Formation of Candidates for the Priesthood which basically says that people with "deep-seated homosexual tendencies" will have more problems with celibacy than those with deep-seated heterosexual tendencies.

All a tad obvious I suspect. After all, homosexuals are those nasty perverts who have multiple partners and abuse children – well, according to Dame Thompson’s blog they are although, in this case, it’s not the Dame whose making the objectionable comments but his acolytes. Trust me, you’ll need a strong stomach to read some of these comments.

I try hard to defend our Church but sometimes I just give up.

Lace versus leather

2008-10-10T17:21:00.006+01:00

Dame Thompson is now wittering on about the joy of conservative young seminarians.

A priest friend of mine, recently returned from Rome, was talking about these young men in the birrettas, soutanes and frilly surplices.

I nearly choked on my G&T as he leaned forward and whispered: "Lace by day, Dear, and leather by night".

Priest strikes over empty collection plate

2008-10-09T18:21:00.001+01:00

A Polish priest has gone on strike because parishioners don't leave enough on the collection plate.

Father Piotr Lenart, of Deszkowice, south east Poland, refuses to talk during mass. Instead he stands in silence in front of the congregation for 15 minutes.

The fall out began two years ago when the priest asked for donations to rebuild the church car park.

Finnish priest in row over women's ordination

2008-10-09T18:19:00.004+01:00

I just had to include this one because of the deliciously camp outfits.

Newman has the last laugh

2008-10-05T00:23:00.006+01:00

So, after all the debate about the future of Cardinal Newman's remains, it turns out there are none. I can't help feeling that the cardinal has had the last laugh.

A big bishop bash

2008-09-08T21:16:00.004+01:00

Dame Thompson is having a go at all the bishops in one go now. (I trust their Lordships won't mind my pinching the photo from their website.) Look at them – do they really look like a bunch of hucksters who exist to protestantise the Church and to sell all our assets.

There is much rejoicing on Holy Smoke because someone in Leeds has managed to involve English Heritage and, thereby, devalue some diocesan property. These are, remember, people who claim to be true sons and daughters of the Church.

I leave you with the words DT of the DT. I'll be interested to hear your answers.

Here are five questions for the Catholic bishops of England and Wales. Readers of this blog would be very interested in the answers – and so, I think, would the Vatican.

1. Why are churches attended by up to 200 people being earmarked for closure and sale to developers?

2. Why are some dioceses negotiating with developers before they have finished consulting parishioners about the future of their churches?

3. Why are some dioceses making little or no attempt to foster vocations, and turning away priests from overseas?

4. Why have traditionalist priestly societies set up by the Pope not been allowed to take over a single parish in England and Wales?

5. Why are the biannual meetings of the Bishops' Conference now conducted amid conditions of almost complete secrecy, in sharp contrast to practice in other countries? If you'll forgive the cliché, I do not know but I think we should be told.

Misogynistic Woman

2008-09-08T21:06:00.003+01:00

I work with a couple of guys who can be a tad misogynistic at times. For example, I would not be surprised if I heard them making these sorts of comments about a woman priest:

What action should one take when a false nail falls into the chalice after the Consecration? (Ditto for false eyelashes.)

Would a clerical tonsure remove the need to have my roots re-touched?

How can one remove lipstick stains from a purificator?

Is it permissible to knit when assisting in choir?

This "Seal of the Confessional" thing... it doesn't actually apply to really juicy bits of gossip, does it? I mean, what else can one talk about at the monthly parish coffee-and-cake mornings?

But these comments were made by a woman who has her own blog and, of course, lapped up on Holy Smoke.

While most of us have opinions about women priests, I cannot believe that any woman could have such a low opinion of her own sex.

This woman is a teacher. If she admitted to this sort of misogyny in the place where I teach, I suspect she'd be fired on the spot.

Bishop bashing without apostrophes

2008-08-27T20:31:00.010+01:00

Thanks to the Cardinal, I've discovered someone who bashes the bishop as much as Dame Thompson. It's really interesting how these people skew their arguments.

The complaint on John Kearney's blog is about the lack of Polish Masses in Portsmouth Diocese. It may, or may not, be a valid point.

The Cardinal offers an explanation – about Polish Masses, remember – and is immediately attacked for everything Kearney imagines is wrong with the Church.

If you are about to take a peep at this blog, please heed this solemn warning: Kearney obviously doesn't like queers. And, despite his professed adherence to Catholicism he identifieds himself as a Scorpio of the Zodiac Year of the Ox. But – and from this we really must protect our children – he hasn't the faintest idea where to place an apostrophe.

Nuns! Nuns! Beautiful nuns!

2008-08-26T23:24:00.006+01:00

An online beauty contest open only to nuns has been cancelled. Italian Passionist, Antonio Rungi pulled the event because his superiors mistakenly believed he planned to put them on the catwalk.

Father Rungi, from Mondragone, near Naples, was hoping at least a thousand female religious would enter the "Sister Italia" contest. He wanted them to highlight their 'spirituality, social awareness, charity and other qualities'.

And there were some interesting nominations from Sandalistas:
Audrey Hepburn in The Nun's Story (above)
Jennifer Jones in The Song of Bernadette
Whoopie Goldberg in Sister Act
Julie Andrews in The Sound of Music
Robbie Coltrane and Eric Idle in Nuns on the Run

But I still say me and the girls would be prefer to see the guys of the Calendario Romano on the catwalk.

Tatchell's no lover of Newman

2008-08-25T10:16:00.009+01:00

Tatchell's having another one of his anti-Church rants. He's claiming that the reason Cardinal Newman is being exhumed is to remove all traces of a gay relationship with Ambrose St John. Now we have no proof either way about the relationship between the two men and noone would argue that the Vatican is the greatest proponent of gay rights. But Tatchell seems unable to follow his own argument to it's logical conclusion: If that Vatican really thought there was a gay (in the modern sense) relationship between these two Victorians, would there be plans to canonise Newman at all?

Westminster Curry?

2008-08-22T14:02:00.001+01:00

A mystery gambler has tried to place £40,000 on Monsignor James Curry becoming the next Archbishop of Westminster. Bookmakers Paddy Power turned down the bet at the time but are now offering odds of 40-1 on Mgr Curry – recently appointed parish priest of Our Lady of Victories, Kensington – succeeding Cardinal Cormac Murphy-O'Connor.

Prostitutes, demons and bishops.

2008-08-22T13:13:00.002+01:00

A Mexican priest says women in miniskirts are prostituting themselves.

A Westminster priest claims homosexuality leads to demonic posession.

Damian Thompson thinks Britain's bishops belong to a magic circle.

And I just wonder why people tell jokes about Catholics.

Thompson is a bishop basher

2008-08-21T20:43:00.002+01:00

There’s no doubt about it: Damian Thompson is a serial bishop basher.

Having not long finished with having a go at Arthur Roche, he’s now having a bash at Crispian Hollis (left).

For some reason Bishop Crispian has cancelled a Polish lanaguage Mass in Portsmouth Diocese. So now Thompson and his Latinistas are jumping up and down demanding a Mass in the vernacular for this particular group. Confused? You will be – especially as one of the bloggers suggests the Poles should have an Extraordinary Form Mass in…er…Latin. Think I lost the plot at this point.

It will be interesting to discover the real reasons behind Bishop Crispian’s actions. In the mean time Thompson is joined by his usual coterie of bishop bashers, all complaining about the “magic circle” of bishops.

I suppose that makes it a Circle Bishop Bash.

Thompson insults (yet another) bishop

2008-08-21T14:04:00.003+01:00

I think Damian Thompson's gone too far this time. We all know he could run the Catholic Church in England & Wales, as well as the Church of England, better than any number of bishops. And we all know he objects to parish and church closures – on this one I'm sure we'd agree. It's a very sad state of affairs although necessary.

But the headline on Thompson's latest blog is nothing short of scandalous: Bishop of Leeds shuts church to halt celebration of Mass.

No matter what our opinions on church closures and parish mergers, to suggest Bishop Roche (above) has done this solely to prevent the celebration of Mass is, surely, actionable.

The Thompson Missal

2008-08-21T13:46:00.001+01:00

The new translations of the Mass are on the way. Well they have been for some time and many of us saw the green book in 2004 showing the interim translations.

Not sure about some of it but I'm no linguistic scholar. Friend Annie studied classics and she says while it is much closer to the Latin, poetry should not be translated literally or you lose the, well the poetry I suppose.

Interesting to read Damian Thompson's analysis. I hadn't realised he was a classical scholar but we all hide our lights under our bushels at some point.

It's his sweeping unproven statements which irk – as usual. For example: "the compulsory adoption of the new translation – which the English authorities have naturally been dragging their heels over introducing". We know this not to be true as the translation is not yet finalised so there's nothing there for anyone to drag their heels over anyway.

You know, if I was a Bishop of England or Wales – and I'm glad I'm not because I there isn't a decent wool shop in Eccleston Square – I'd be so miffed. Not by Thompson's comments but by the fact that he knows so much more about the Church in England, Wales and Rome than they do.

Counterknowledge of Liverpool

2008-08-21T13:19:00.002+01:00

Damian Thompson is the author of Counterknowledge in which he claims to uncover bogus science and fake history. Well, a boy has to live. However, he's not averse to promoting a little counterknowledge when it suits. One of his recent such stories concerned St Vincent de Paul Church, Liverpool (left), which, he claimed, was earmarked as a Tridentine Rite parish.

More recently he followed this up with story claiming the plan had been vetoed by the Council of Priests. Not so, we are reliably informed. The Council of Priests actually voted on plans to suppress the Parish of St Vincent de Paul – and that's quite another issue.

The real knowledge of this Liverpool church came to us from fellow blogger, Scouse Chappie. He has contacts, as his name suggests.

The interesting thing here is that Scouse Chappie originally started reading Thompson's blogs because he is passionate about the old Mass and delighted Pope Benedict has made it more readily available. What he hadn't realised is that his fellow bloggers could be quite so nasty and that they would use pretty foul language about each other and members of the hierarchy.

Mr Chappie, or may I call you Scouse, thank you for your help. We won't shout abuse at you here and, being the confounded liberals that Thompson & Co so despise, we welcome your interest in the Tridentine Rite. We will not, however, be as nasty about our bishops as are the so-called traditionalists who lurk in Holy Smoke.

Snoozing?

2008-08-21T12:27:00.001+01:00

Have I been snoozing, asks the Cardinal elsewhere.

Yes, indeed I have. It take so much energy to be an interfering busy body around the parish that occasionally one needs to grab a few zeds.

But it's time to wake up and carry on in our mission to – as Damian Thompson believes – destroy the Church.

So come on. Sandalistas of the world unite. Put your best-sandalled foot forward. On with the fray.

Latin-tastic

2008-07-04T12:19:00.004+01:00

Damian Thompson writes of a rumour that "Pope Benedict may require priests to say the words of consecration in Latin at all Masses".

He is, of course, delighted and Sandalistas everywhere wish him well.

The confusing bit is his conviction that "Liberals won't agree, needless to say, because it will mean hearing the dreaded Latin language".

Once again, Mr T is convinced that liberals have an illiberal attitude to Latin. Not so, or we wouldn't sing so much of the music from Taizé which Mr T so loathes. Following most of his arguments to their logistical conclusion, one would except him to love music from Taizé simply because it's in his favourite tongue.

I'm becoming confused and confusing by Mr T's confusion.

Sandalista Speaks

2008-06-29T11:43:00.004+01:00

Are you a Sandalista?

If you are a reader, a cantor, a psalmist, a Eucharistic minister, a children’s liturgy leader then you are.

The term was purloined by Telegraph journalist and blogger Damian Thompson to irritate those with whom he disagrees, although he appears to be the only person to use that term in this context.

Sandalista is applied to members of the Society of St Gregory. And it appears to be used with most venom against those priests who promote the comsumption of Fairtrade coffee after Mass.

I’m not quite sure of the opposite of Sandalista. Given some of the recent kickings handed out on Damian’s blog one is tempted to suggest something based on steel toe-capped footwear.

If you’re one of those people who keeps your parish going then Damian (hereafter Dame) and his cohort don’t like you. If you organise something then you’re a “busybody” and if you are some sort of minister (reader, musician etc) then you are really puffing yourself up with pride and ought to be stopped.

If you are a diocesan music advisor your salary (pitiful as its likely to be) should be axed. And if you have any sort of job at Eccleston Square then you can expect to be dragged on a hurdle to Tyburn.

The accusations thrown at we Sandalistas are at best laughable and at worst highly offensive. For example, those who are involved with music are responsible for “Colours of Day” and “As I kneel before you”. Child protection policy is being used to prevent celebrations of the Tridentine Rite in one diocese while in another the bishop deliberately appointed a female server at the cathedral to confound the Latin Mass Society.

If you are hurt by the comments of the Dame and his fork-tailed imps then there’s something wrong with you: hurt, it appears, is only felt by beardy-weirdy liberals who knit their own yogurts.

Sandalista, if I’m interpreting it properly, belongs to all those people who work tirelessly to keep our church ticking. Just like black and gay people before us, it is time to reclaim the name for ourselves.